A Miracle From Jesus Christ

I was born and raised as a Christian. But I realized that I never really understood what it is to be a Christian. I thought it was something that I should do because my parents told me to.

Everything was fine until some ‘unfortunate’ things happened to me. My friends weren’t my friends. People whom I love are the ones that hurt me the most. I lost my dog during the difficult times. And it wasn’t even the most painful thing that happened to me.

I blamed God for everything that happened to me.

I asked God why God made me feel this way. Why did God allow bad things to happen to me?

It was so painful and I was suicidal because of it. It was too painful for me and the easiest thing to do is just gone. Running away from these problems.

But… deep down inside my heart, there was a part of me that wanted to be better.

I kept praying every day to God no matter how I felt. But at the same time, I kept leaning on my understanding. I searched for ‘healing’ on my terms. The healing practices I had done only cleaned up the wounds, not healed them. I read so many books about it but these books didn’t give the answer or solution—these books help me understand the cause but not the solution.

I won’t say the healing practices I tried were wrong, but it wasn’t for me. If we get a fever or flu, we would drink medicine to be healed. But at this time, any ‘healing practice’ wasn’t working for me. Because the pain was at a different level. The pain was unbearable—it felt like a wound that wouldn’t heal no matter what medicine you tried. It was a spiritual warfare that happened inside me. The enemy used my traumas, anxiety, insecurities, and fear inside me to trap me—to move away my focus from God.

I remember that when I was alone for around two months, I spent most of the time at home crying. I cried because I didn’t know what I should do to make this pain go away. I couldn’t even finish washing my dishes. I just couldn’t finish everything. I lost myself. I couldn’t be as creative as I was before. There was also a physical pain that I cannot explain. My shoulder was hurt I didn’t know why. I also gained so much weight because my body was in a survival mode. And I lost a lot of hair.

Read more: How I Regrow My Hair Back

One day, I prayed to Jesus Christ and I asked for a miracle. And I received it the very next morning.

I asked God to lift all of my bitterness, traumas, pain, and burden that had been living inside me. The pain that I couldn’t heal with my own ‘medicine’.

Jesus Christ healed all my pain in one night. I remember when I woke up feeling like a brand new person with no bitterness and all of the pain inside me.

Well, it doesn’t mean I forgot what happened to me. I remember but when I tried to remember them all, I won’t cry again, I smiled knowing that I chose to forgive and Jesus Christ healed me. It was a blessing from God. It was a blessing to have such an experience. I was no longer listening to the enemy. All of the pain was a blessing from God. It made me a brand new person.

“If a broken heart brings you closer to God, then thank God for a broken heart”

This is the perfect words to describe it. Ever since the miracle happened in my life, I read the bible every day, I worship Him every day, and I pray every day. My main focus now is only on God.

Now I understand why God allowed bad things to happen to me. It was a huge blessing that God gave me. I always cry when I remember how God saved my life even when I turned around. He keeps blessing me. I thought God was punishing me for all the bad things I did, but it was a narrative created by the enemy because we should know that God would never punish us. After all, He is slow to anger. He will give us another chance and another so we can be better.

God gave me the power to punish those who hurt me, to make their lives miserable. But I chose to have mercy on them, just like how Jesus chose to have mercy on those who mocked and hurt Him. I mean, Jesus could do whatever He wanted to—He is God. But still, choosing mercy over punishment is what Jesus wanted. It wasn't an easy road, but I believed Jesus would heal me and lead me to the right path.

Jesus is always next to me no matter how messed up I am. He won’t leave me. You might think that Jesus would leave you, but He won’t.

There’s a new shift in how I see things happening in my life. Every bad thing that happened now I see it as a way of how God wanted it to be.

Things I’ve learned from my previous experience:

1. Loving others means you’re ready to lose yourself. Just like how Jesus sacrificed Himself to forgive all of our sins. He died because He loves people.

2. Mercy. I remember that when these people hurt me, I was going to make their lives suffer with the power that I had. But I chose mercy.

3. Power of prayer. Prayers are powerful. We can pray at any time.

4. True forgiveness is not easy. Every person has a different story and time to forgive. If you feel that you cannot forgive someone, you can ask God to change your heart, to teach us how to forgive and remember.

5. Not leaning on our understanding. When I feel overwhelmed, I just pray and let the Holy Spirit guide me to God’s understanding. I no longer feel anxious or worried because I believe that no matter what happens, God is always next to me.

6. Fear of God. Yes, only fear to God. Don’t be afraid of anything but God. Not even your parents, your lover, your boss—respect them, yes. But the one and only you should fear is God.

My testimony might not be as big as James Kawalya’s testimony but I believe even a small one could change someone’s life.

If you’re a believer or non-believer and you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, unresolved traumas, etc, please pray to Jesus Christ and ask for a miracle. And you all shall receive it. Amen.